When One of Your Friends Family Members Died What Do You Say

Signing a sympathy carte du jour isn't like shooting fish in a barrel. We search for words. We wonder what would exist comforting to hear. We worry virtually proverb the wrong thing…

But even though it'southward not easy, it is important to reach out in sympathy. Our words can't accept away the pain of losing a loved one, but they tin become a long way toward helping a grieving person feel loved and supported.

You lot should know right upwardly front end that you won't find the perfect thing to write here. However, y'all will find ideas from seasoned Hallmark writers for good, helpful and hopeful things to write in a sympathy carte du jour.

We hope our tips assist y'all relax, write and share your heartfelt caring with someone who is going through a time of grief.

Sympathy Messages: What to Write in a Sympathy Bill of fare

• Condolences
• Appreciation
• Offer to Assistance
• Following Up
• Sudden or Unexpected Expiry
• When Someone Has Died by Suicide
• When Yous Cannot Nourish the Memorial Service
• Loss of Parent
• Loss of Spouse or Partner
• Loss of Child
• Miscarriage
• Loss of Pet
• Sympathy Closings
• What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card
• What to write in a sympathy card VIDEO

Condolences

There are many good reasons for keeping your personal sympathy message short. It could exist that the card has already expressed most or all of what you wanted to say. Or perchance you didn't know the deceased well, or at all. Whatsoever the reason, you tin admittedly be brief and still come up beyond equally warm and caring.

Examples

• "We are then sorry for your loss."
• "I'1000 going to miss her, too."
• "I hope you feel surrounded by much love."
• "Sharing in your sadness every bit you call back Juan."
• "Sharing in your sadness equally you call back Dan."
• "Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss."
• "With deepest sympathy as you think Robert."
• "I was saddened to hear that your granddad passed away. My thoughts are with y'all and your family unit."
• "Remembering your wonderful mother and wishing yous condolement."
• "It was truly a pleasure working with your begetter for 17 years. He will be deeply missed."
• "Thinking of you all as yous gloat your sibling's remarkable life."
• "Thinking of you all equally yous gloat your grandmother's remarkable life."
• "Nosotros are missing Anne along with yous. With heartfelt sympathy,"
• "Thinking of y'all and wishing you moments of peace and comfort as you remember a friend who was then close to you."
• "Our family unit is keeping your family unit in our thoughts and prayers."
• "Belongings you lot close in my thoughts and hoping you are doing OK."
• "Even though there is joy in the homegoing, there is sorrow in your loss. Thinking of you at this tender fourth dimension."
• "Te acompaño en estos momentos de gran tristeza."

Writing tip: If you knew the person who has passed just non the surviving family member(due south) to whom you're sending your card, it might be helpful to mention your connection to their loved 1 (from school, through work, etc.).

Appreciation

It can be a peachy comfort to a grieving person or family to hear that others thought highly of their loved one, too. If you lot knew and admired the loved one who has transitioned, be certain to let your recipient(south) know.

Examples

• "What an astonishing person and what a remarkable life. I experience so lucky that I got to know him."
• "What a good and generous man your father was. I thought his funeral service was a wonderful tribute to him and all he has done for our community. He will exist missed."
• "Your granddad believed in uplifting anybody in his circle. I was one of those people. And I am so honored to accept known him."
• "Your mama was an astonishing lady, and I experience privileged to have known her. I know you will miss her deeply. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers."
• "Celebrating the life of a practiced person and mourning their passing with you."
• "Celebrating the life of a adept man and mourning his passing with you."
• "Your girl touched then many lives for the good. I'chiliad grateful I had the chance to know her as both a colleague and a cherished friend."
• "Your mother blest then many people with her faith and kindness. Praying that you'll detect comfort in your memories of her and in the knowledge that others are missing her, too."
• "Our abuela told us our stories, passed down traditions and held usa together in love. We are so blessed to come from her and to feel her love from heaven."
• "I have the best memories of staying with Aunt Edie as a kid. I don't recall I've told y'all this, but starting when I was nearly x, she would take me to Becker'due south for ice cream cones…and let me bulldoze! Only Aunt Edie…I'yard going to miss her fun-loving spirit then much."
• "Nobody could tell a funny story like your mom. Remember at your graduation party—the story about the vacuuming incident? My face hurt for a full solar day after from laughing so much. I'll always cherish those memories of fun times spent with her."
• "Your mama was always doing for people. A lot of people take been blest by her kindness and concord her close in their hearts."
• "Qué persona tan maravillosa y qué vida tan extraordinaria. Me alegra mucho el haberla conocido."

Writing tip: Need a more than specific discussion than "skillful" to describe the deceased? Consider ane of these: kindhearted, talented, admired, unforgettable, fun-loving, funny, wonderful, well-loved, lovely, sugariness, generous, one-of-a-kind, one-in-a-million, honorable, respected, caring, hardworking, potent, energetic, happy.

Offer to Help

If you're in a position to assist your recipient with arrangements, meals, housework, yard work, childcare or something else, then experience free to include an offer to do so every bit part of your bulletin. Just be certain to follow upwardly and follow through.

Examples

• "I know I can't make your pain go away, merely I desire you to know I'm hither with a shoulder or an ear or anything else you need."
• "Thinking of your family with beloved and wanting to help out in any way I can. I'll call to see when would be a practiced night to bring over a repast."
• "Y'all've got so much on your listen and on your heart correct now. We promise it will make one less worry to know that Kevin and I will exist taking care of the yard for as long as yous demand."
• "I know this must exist a very difficult and demanding time for yous all. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. If in that location is anything we can practice—from walking Max to picking up your dry cleaning, please allow us know."
• "It'south and then important to get your residual. I'll take the kids for a couple of hours whenever you demand time to sit quietly."
• "Sé que no puedo desaparecer el dolor que estás sintiendo, pero aquí estoy para lo que necesites."

Writing tip: In full general, the more specific your offer of help, the improve. And no task is too small.

Following Up

When someone yous know is grieving, you might want to offer ongoing messages of support in the weeks and months following the loss of their loved one. Yous tin send these cards to note an occasion like the loved ane's altogether, a wedding anniversary, holidays or any other time when the grieving person may need actress support.

Examples

• "It's been a while, but I know that the injure doesn't become abroad when the cards and casseroles do. I'm still here for you."
• "But wanted to let you lot know nosotros're remembering your mom on her altogether and sending lots of caring thoughts your fashion."
• "I know Christmas won't be the same without DeMarcus, but I promise it helps a little to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, peculiarly through the holidays."
• "Hard to believe information technology's been a twelvemonth since nosotros said expert-bye to Noah. Couldn't let this anniversary go past without letting you lot know that I'm thinking of yous."
• "This Kwanzaa season, there is a new antecedent to honor. Thinking of y'all, your female parent and your family unit equally you calorie-free the kinara."
• "Solo quería que supieras que sigo pensando en ti y en tu familia."

Writing tip: You lot will find some cards specific to sympathy follow-upwardly, but you lot might too choose to go with an encouragement or thinking-of-you carte du jour, or a bare carte du jour with a beautiful or lighthearted photo on the cover, depending on the tone you lot're going for.

Sudden or Unexpected Death

It'due south never like shooting fish in a barrel to lose someone we beloved. Just oftentimes, a loss that no i saw coming can atomic number 82 to complicated grief. This might be because of the deceased's young age or apparent skilful wellness or an accident or other tragic circumstances. Whatever the case, these kinds of losses call for boosted comfort, understanding and ongoing support.

Examples

• Words Fail: "I'm not certain what to say in the face of such a difficult loss. Just want y'all to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness."
• Acknowledging Unexpectedness: "We were surprised and saddened to hear about Mike's passing. He was such a skilful guy. Nosotros're going to miss him and then much, too."
• I'm Sorry: "I'm securely pitiful your family unit is experiencing the hurting of a loss like this. My heart goes out to each of you."
• This Is Specially Hard: "We never would have felt set to say good-bye to someone equally special equally Christina, but this timing feels particularly tough. Wishing your family unit condolement and force for the days and weeks ahead. We'll be praying for all of you lot."
• Wishes/Prayers: "Keeping you in my warmest thoughts as you navigate this difficult fourth dimension—and wishing you hope and healing when you lot're ready."
• I'thou Hither for You lot: "It's going to take time to go through the shock of this loss. Only want you to know we'll be here for you all the way."
• Ongoing Back up: "Hey, I know it'southward been a couple of months since you lost Ernesto. But want you lot to know I haven't forgotten. I'one thousand notwithstanding thinking nearly yous. And I'm hither to help out, listen, whatever yous demand."
• Cuando no encuentras las palabras adecuadas: "Ojalá supiera qué decirte dues esta pérdida tan inesperada… Pero lo que sí quiero que sepas es que lo siento mucho."

Pro Tip: If everything y'all effort to write feels incorrect or bad-mannered, and so keep your bulletin curt. The uncomplicated deed of sending a card communicates caring—even if you simply sign it "With deepest sympathy" followed by your name.

When Someone Has Died past Suicide

Losing a loved one to suicide is devastating, and the isolation that can result from others not knowing what to say or how to support has its own sting. Making the attempt to connect is an important showtime step. Offer your sincere condolences without questions and without judgment.

Examples

• Loss of Close Friend: "Trey was such a dear and loyal friend. He made an incredible bear upon on me and I will miss him and then much. All my thoughts are with you and your family unit."
• Loss of Family Member of Close Friend: "Friend, there are no words for something every bit heartbreaking as this. I wish you didn't take to know this pain. Telephone call me whatever time, day or nighttime, and I'll be checking in with you through the days and weeks to come."
• Unintentional (e.g. overdose): "I know how hard your sibling was struggling and how much your family has been through, and I'm so sorry this happened."
• Military/PTSD: "Your family unit has served this country with courage and honor. Y'all have then much to be proud of. I hope that can bring you some comfort in your heartache."
• "It's not fair that PTSD took someone who already gave and then much of himself/herself to others. It shouldn't be this way. I promise that y'all feel surrounded by dearest and support every step of this journeying."
• Young Person: "I'm still stunned about Ramesh. I can't imagine what such a loving family unit like yours is going through correct now. Ramesh really shone his light when he was hither. I loved that about him. He will exist remembered and loved always."
• LGBTQ: "Kai was 100% themselves, and I loved that about them. Their self-assuredness is something that will ever inspire me fifty-fifty every bit I miss them so much. If you ever desire to share memories and stories, I'm here."
• En este momento tan difícil de entender.
• Pérdida de un familiar o amigo: "No puedo imaginar lo que están sintiendo en este momento tan difícil de entender, pero espero que tú y tu familia encuentren paz y consuelo en los gratos recuerdos de su ser amado. Los acompaño en su dolor."

Writing Tips:Acknowledge that the topic of suicide is very sensitive, and the recipient may have many complicated feelings. It's of import not to share your opinions on suicide and instead be supportive of the person grieving and still they are experiencing grief.

Language Note: In beingness compassionate toward people whose lives have been impacted by suicide, it is important to avoid terms like "committing suicide," which can evoke feelings of guilt and arraign. Instead, say "died of suicide" or "died by suicide."

When You Cannot Attend the Memorial Service

Information technology's a very human instinct to want to offer condolences and support in person when someone has died. However, for a variety of reasons—either your own circumstances or the family's need to forego or filibuster a memorial service—it may be impossible to practice so. In those cases, you may wish to say a little more in your written message.

Examples

• Wish I Could Be With You: "I wish I could exist in that location to honor your dad along with you. He was a groovy human."
• Looking Ahead to a Memorial Later On: "I know Kara's memorial service won't happen for a few months yet. Just didn't want to let that much time go by without reaching out to tell yous how saddened I am by her passing. She was such a sweetheart. She'll be deeply missed."
• This Is Difficult: "Information technology's hard to lose someone who meant so much to all of us, and fifty-fifty harder that we can't all exist together to say skilful-bye. We desire you lot to know we're with you in spirit—now and in the days and weeks ahead."
• I'm Here for Y'all in Other Ways: "Even though I can't exist there for Tom'due south service, just desire you to know I'm hither to drop food past, mow the backyard or anything else that comes up."
• Homegoing: "There is a celebration in heaven and a celebration in our hearts even though we tin can't be there to put our arms around you."
• "Ojalá pudiera estar ahí contigo para honrar la memoria de tu papá. Fue united nations gran hombre."

Pro Tip: When you tin't exist at that place to honor the deceased in person, you might as well choose to make some kind of honoring gesture in addition to sending a sympathy carte.

Loss of Parent

It'due south never piece of cake to lose a parent. No matter how former nosotros are, no thing how shut or complicated the human relationship, it hits hard. And information technology calls for some special words of comfort. (Annotation: These message examples alternate references to mother and father simply could work for either.)

Examples

• Compliment: "Your begetter was such a wonderful man. I was lucky to know him."
• She'll Always Be With You: "You'll always remember how it felt to laugh with her and exist loved by her. I hope those memories will bring condolement in time."
• He Lives on in You: "The lessons your dad taught yous, the dear he gave, the fashion he cared for people…all those good things live on in you."
• You Were a Comfort: "Y'all were a joy to your mother all your life, and a huge condolement to her over these past few months. Information technology's sad to lose her, but I hope you feel good about the way yous were there for her."
• Miss Him Too: "Just wanted to say how much your father meant to me, and how much I miss him, besides."
• Loved Her Also: "Your mom was such a good friend. I loved her, too."
• When You lot Didn't Know Him: "I didn't have the hazard to know your begetter, just I know he must have been someone special to accept raised a dandy son like you."
• This Is Hard: "It'southward and so hard saying adieu to your mom. My middle goes out to you right now."
• He was a pillar in our community: "Your daddy was father, brother, uncle and wise elder to so many in our community. He was much of a man."
• Share a Memory: "Nobody could lucifer your dad for making people feel special. I'll always call back being the smallest kid on the pee-wee baseball team he coached, only feeling big, considering he made me team captain."
• Siempre estará contigo: "El amor infinito de tu mamá siempre permanecerá en tu corazón, y su recuerdo vivirá para siempre en nuestras memorias. Lo sentimos mucho."

Pro Tip: If yous've lost a parent yourself, information technology's fine to mention that, only take care not to make your message more than virtually you and your experience. Keep the focus on sending condolement and support to the person you're writing to, and don't assume you sympathize exactly how they experience.

Loss of Spouse or Partner

Someone who's but lost their spouse or partner is both grieving and also facing a huge adjustment to their day-to-day living and sense of identity. Whether they've been sharing life for six years or threescore years, it's a stupor to lose that feeling of togetherness in everything. You lot might choose to acknowledge this in a straight or indirect way in what you write.

Examples

• Compliment the Human relationship: "What the two of you shared was truly something special. Y'all loved each other so well."
• Compliment the Deceased: "Stephanie was one of the funniest, about vibrant people I've ever met. I'k then grateful I got to know her."
• He'll Ever Be With You: "Someone who shared so much of life with you lot will forever be a office of you. Keeping you in my prayers as you remember your married man."
• Take Care of Yourself: "I know the days and months alee will be a big adjustment, then please give yourself a lot of grace. Do whatever you lot need to accept care of y'all—and know I'thou here for you, besides."
• I Believe in Yous: "I know information technology must experience like this hurting will never end. Just I believe in my heart that comfort will notice you when you're gear up. I believe yous've got the strength to come through. And in time, I hope you'll believe information technology, too."
• Miss Her Too: "Linda was such a terrific colleague and friend. I miss her deeply."
• Loved Him Too: "I hope it helps a little to hear how much Matt was loved by others, likewise—me, for one."
• When You Don't Know the Surviving Spouse/Partner: "Fifty-fifty though we haven't had the chance to see in person, I feel like I know you from the glowing way Jim talked nearly you. Information technology was easy to see how much he loved you."
• This Is Hard: "Losing the 1 you love is and then hard. And so I'm praying hard for yous—for peace, for comfort, for whatever you need right now."
• Share a Retention: "I was just thinking about Anne's unforgettable dinner parties—particularly the one with the notorious lemon-bar incident. That was the best. And SHE was the best."
• Share What's True: "He held you downwards and lifted you up in this earth. I promise you tin withal feel him and his love around you lot."
• Admiración hacia la pareja: "El amor que compartieron fue realmente especial. Deseo de todo corazón que su recuerdo te traiga tranquilidad y consuelo."

Writing Tip: For a surviving spouse who yet has kids living it home, consider including them in your bulletin. You could mention them in your greeting ("Dear Ellen and Family unit" or "Beloved Finn, Katie, and Joe"), in the body of your message, or both. Another option would be to ship a separate card to each of the kids.

Loss of Kid

This is an especially tough one. Every parent wants and so much to nurture, protect, and meet their kid abound up, but sadly, life doesn't ever work out that fashion. When writing to someone who's lost a kid, endeavor to relax and retrieve that the gesture of reaching out will probably mean only as much as the actual words you write.

Examples

• Compliment: "Della was such a sweet girl. I wish she could take stayed with y'all, and with all of u.s., for so much longer."
• They'll Always Exist a Role of You: "You'll always miss Alex, but they'll always be with yous in the memories you keep, the stories your family tells, the laughter yous share, and the dearest you lot all hold for them. May those good things assist heal the hurt in time."
• I'one thousand Sad: "So deeply sorry you take to go through a heartbreak like this. Sharing in your sorrow and keeping your family in our most caring prayers."
• Time Was Short/Honey Was Big: "Even though Maddie was with us for likewise short a time, she filled the world effectually her with then much joy. And y'all filled hers with so much love."
• His Life Mattered: "Though we only got to concur him for a little while, he brought u.s.a. together and brought and so many smiles. Jubilant all the days that were brighter because he was hither."
• Loved Her Too: "I hope there's some comfort in knowing how much we loved Aya, besides."
• Miss Him Too: "Missing Henry right forth with you."
• This Is Heartbreaking: "It just feels wrong that you should have to say goodbye to your child. Whatever you're feeling, please know yous're not alone. I'm but one of many who want to do whatever we can to support you in the weeks and months to come."
• Share a Retention: "Jamal was the start to be a friend to everyone who needed one. I was just remembering when our class got a new educatee this bound, and Jamal made a point of sitting with him at lunch. He was a special kid."
• Siempre será parte de ti: "Tu hijo es una estrella en el cielo, y su luz iluminará siempre tu camino y tu corazón."

Writing Tip: You can adapt most of these message ideas for parents who have lost an adult son or daughter. The heartbroken feeling that life isn't supposed to work like this will still apply—and the need for caring, back up, and prayers volition be similar, likewise.

Miscarriage

Miscarriage is the kind of loss that yous may simply know most if you're part of the mom'southward or couple's inner circle of family unit and friends. If that's the case, you take a unique opportunity be a source of comfort and support in a globe that doesn't know.

Examples

• Your Loss Is Existent: "The love you felt for your baby-to-be was existent, and so is the loss you're experiencing. I hope you can be gentle with yourself and award whatever y'all're feeling correct now."
• I'g Sad: "I'm then sorry you've had to permit go of the dreams you were already cherishing for your baby."
• This Is Hard: "I can't brainstorm to understand all yous're feeling correct now, but I know it can't be easy. I wish you didn't accept to get through a loss like this."
• Wish for Healing: "Keeping yous and Keisha in my thoughts and hoping for healing to come to you in time."
• I'm Here for You: "I was securely saddened to hear yous've had a miscarriage. Merely want you to know I'1000 here for yous—to talk, to bring over a repast, or whatsoever you need right now."
• It'southward Not Your Fault: "Just wanted to remind you lot that at that place was nothing y'all could or should have done differently. Sometimes these things just happen. I'm pitiful it had to happen to you."
• Lo siento: "Siento mucho la pérdida de tu bebé. Aquí estoy para ti, para hablar, para escucharte, para lo que necesites."

Writing Tip: It'south sorry for an expecting mother to lose a pregnancy even when she already has children, or may continue to have others. And so avoid saying annihilation like "At least y'all already have Emma" or "You can always try again." Those thoughts come from a practiced identify, but they risk implying that the mom or couple should just get over it quickly and move on.

Find more messages and ways to support parents who accept lost a babe.

Loss of Pet

Pets are genuinely family unit members for a lot of us, and when we lose one, it can be a huge comfort to have others recognize how much they meant and how distressing information technology is to say bye.

Examples

• Compliment: "Benny was such a practiced dog. Then sorry you've had to say good day to him."
• You Loved Her Well: "From your beginning how-do-you-do, to your final good day, Shadow felt how much y'all loved her. She was i lucky kitty to have you for her person."
• Wish for Good Memories: "Wishing you smiles amid the tears every bit you recollect happy times with your loyal companion and friend."
• She'll Always Be Part of You: "Trixie may be gone from your lap, but she'll stay in your middle forever."
• Miss Him Likewise: "I was so lamentable to hear about Speck. I certain am going to miss seeing him when I'm out walking."
• She Meant a Lot: "Our fur babies hold such an important place in our lives and our hearts. Thinking of yous as you recollect Gertie."
• Share a Memory: "I'll never forget walking into your kitchen and finding every single cabinet open and Fluff peeking out from a drawer. He was such a clever cat."
• "Lucas era un perro tan bueno y cariñoso. Siento mucho que hayas tenido que decirle adiós."

Pro Tip: If your recipient has had to make the hard decision to accept their pet put to sleep, consider affirming them in that decision. Allow them know you support their choice, that you know information technology wasn't easy, that you share their sadness but are glad their friend isn't hurting anymore.

Sympathy Closings

A warm, respectful closing is a graceful manner to wrap up your sympathy bulletin. Choose i of these, or create your ain.

• With sympathy,
• With deepest sympathy,
• With heartfelt sympathy,
• With prayers and sympathy,
• With sincere sympathy,
• With warm thoughts and prayers,
• With caring,
• With honey at this distressing time,
• In caring sympathy,
• With you in sorrow,
• Sharing your sadness,
• Thinking of you,
• Caring thoughts are with you,
• God bless,
• God bless you and comfort you,
• Keeping you in our prayers,
• Lifting you up in prayer,
• Praying for you lot,
• Wishing y'all peace,
• Wishing y'all healing,
• My heart goes out to you,
• Please accept our condolences,
• My sincere condolences,
• Prayerfully,
• Con el más sentido pésame,

What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card

Here are a few thoughts and phrases to avoid in sympathy cards, because they hazard either minimizing the recipients' unique feelings of grief or actually making them feel worse.

Examples

• "I know how you feel." We all experience and process grief differently.
• "She was so young." No demand for a potentially painful reminder.
• "What a terrible loss." Avert dwelling on the pain or difficulty of the loss.
• "Yous should…" Instead of advice, offering comfort and support.
• "You volition…" Steer clear of predictions about how their grief journeying will go.
• "This happened for a reason." Even with the best intentions behind it, this idea risks assigning arraign for the decease.
• "Sé cómo te sientes." No es bueno asumir cómo se sienten las personas. Todos experimentamos el duelo de manera diferente.

Writing tip: If you're however worried almost maxim the wrong matter, and then keep your message very short. The simple human action of sending the card lets your recipient know you care.

What to write in a sympathy carte VIDEO

Discover out the simple formula for crafting your own sympathy message and go some existent life examples and watch-outs from Authentication Senior Writer Cat Hollyer.

• Tags:
• Greeting Carte Messages and Ideas
• What to write video guide

• Credits:
• Additional contributions past Cat Hollyer, Linda Barnes, Allyson Cook and Suzanne Heins. Melvina Young, Megan Haave and Cindy Phillips.

Keely Chace is a Hallmark Master Writer who loves reading, running and spending time with her married man and daughters. She shares writing tips in her "What to Write" series on Hallmark & Customs.

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Source: https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/sympathy-ideas/what-to-write-in-a-sympathy-card/

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